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No point bothering to explain how tiring it’s like to be a SAHM.

How true!

Have a read at what she shares:
The Stay-at-Home Mom Conspiracy Theory

She totally nailed it! People who aren’t SAHMs have NO IDEA. Most of the time, in their minds they have a much better painted picture, and tend to be unaware of the many little nitty gritty details/tasks a SAHM has to do.

They would think stuffs like, “So nice! You can sleep until so late! Rest and play (watch TV etc) with your baby/kid at home.”. YAH… (You seriously have no idea… *lol)

I do know what it’s like to be at work, though not everyONE’s work life/job is the same, but then, I do have experienced the busy deadlines, long meetings, political emails, political wars happening around in the office, OTs, waking up early, no time for lunch, stress etc. And yes, it is tiring. But I can only say, it is very much different from a SAHM’s.

And in fact, I guess my hubby STILL does not really ‘grasp’ how tired I can get. And yes, he will always say the ‘sleep’ point as his main reason somewhat to ‘prove’ that he should be more tired (in that sense – being much more sleep deprived than me).

Yes, I do sleep more than him… With my daughter’s current sleeping habits, she wakes up late (around 10am to 12pm range usually) BUT sleeps extremely late too (around 11.30pm to 2am). But yeah, YOU know… 🙂

We used to argue much over this ‘tired’ issue but now I’m trying to take it more easy since it is evident that men and women work differently… And he seems to be more ‘understanding’ as there are times he will express his ’empathy’ (*HAHA) towards me.

And he is the sole breadwinner (I guess I’m not experiencing that kind of ‘responsibility’ and stress being the only one trying to support the family), while I get to really bond more with our precious angel. So I am thankful. I really am. Thank you, hubby (even though you aren’t reading this :D). Thank you taking up the FULL responsibility of bringing the beacon home and letting me enjoy my motherhood fully.

Time for some photos!

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Recent selfie photo of us, and a super happy one (Daddy & Mommy couldn’t stop laughing seeing the pretty much unbothered/unaffected/clueless sweetie pie in the screen)

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Selfie taken just last Sunday, where we brought her to the new Punggol End for a short evening walk before heading done to 婆婆’s house

Signing out.

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Her Little Adorable Act (2 Jul 2014)

😊😊😊😊😊

That’s how I’m looking right now as I think about it. ^_^

Earlier today, at about 1pm when we woke up (yes, she is a night bird and wakes up late), I was milking her as usual, and then after she “pulled out”, she was looking/observing at her ‘tap’ and then out of nowhere (suddenly), she grabbed a piece of tissue paper (from the tissue box just right nearby us) and ‘cleaned’ her tap with it. LOL!!!

I somehow already guessed that she thought she might have seen something ‘dirty’ (she loves to use her finger(s) to touch and pick up the little ‘dirty’ stuffs lying around in the house) upon seeing her ‘look’, so I did take the initiative to explain to her (seeing her “What’s that thing over there?” look) that it is just Mommy’s mole (or pigmentation) (well, Mommy may be wrong)… But she already (quickly) grabbed the tissue and dabbed her tap with it.

I thought this little action of hers is just WAYYYYY TOOOO CUUTTEEE!!!!!!! *HUGZ HUGZ HUGZ HUGZ HUGZ!!!! (Pardon me for all these, I’m just so in love with my daughter. *hee)

Made me laugh so hard… 😝

On a side note, I’m glad I made the decision to continue breastfeeding (extended breastfeeding that’s what they call it)… Because I love admiring her (just looking at her face, seeing her features) from my view, and when she looks back to me too, those moments are simply just, AMAZING. It’s really a precious bond that we share, just the two of us. And Mommy treasures it very, very much. So apart from the pros of breastfeeding (such as convenience not having to wash and sterilize the bottles, preparing the milk etc), why not continue with it? I am lucky to have the milk (though I admit I do wonder/worry at times if there is enough milk, since I have no idea at all (up till now) how much she is actually drinking) and the chance to direct latch as and when (since I’m a SAHM) compared to many others who are facing some problems/obstacles being able to breastfeed. So yes, I am so going to stick to my decision to breastfeed till she is at least 2 years old (despite the cons too). After that? We’ll see how it goes… Who knows I may… Well, haha.

I once read that there is a reason why a woman’s breasts is located at where they are, simply because they can have the ‘perfect’ view of looking at the faces of their little one(s) during the milking process. And I thought, how true that is! 😊

And now that she is a toddler (who can run about all around the house vs. just lying/sitting/crawling about in short distances on the bed), I’m amazed at all the postures/patterns of how she drinks her milk. Really, 360 degrees, all sorts of ‘stunts’ (I call it). And it’s really fun, in a way. *hehe

Loving you, V.

And here’s a pic of her pretty recently.

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Hugging her ‘favorite’ Minnie Mouse toy

Love,
Mommy

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A Day Of A SAHM (28 May 2014)

I’ve been wanting to write this post (I actually started a post but gave up and dropped the idea), just so I keep a record of what happened “last time”…

I probably should have done it much earlier, before she turned one (so I keep a record of every phase eg when she still could only flip over, when she could crawl, when my dad was still home in the day (as he was working night shift then) and could help me look after her too, so pretty much me ‘alone’ vs with help etc) but then again, I probably didn’t have that time, otherwise I was just too plain ‘lazy’, as writing such a post actually takes up quite some time, and if my dad helped to look after her, I’ll probably be eating/resting/busy with ‘stuffs’. Anyway, I think I only started this new blog after she turned one if I’m not wrong.

So here’s it. I shall use *yesterday, 28 May 2014, Wednesday, as a reference to what goes on in a day of my SAHM life now. 🙂
*I started this post then, but took (many) days to actually upload it.

(Anyway, certain parts such as the multitasking are pretty much the same, but the timings for example waking up, napping, mealtimes etc may or may not be the same daily. I’ll try to be more detailed wherever possible – just for my future reference next time – so I can reminisce what happened now. :))

• She woke up about 10am. (Usually she’ll wake up around 11ish.)
– ‘Nua’ (a hokkien term for “laze about”) abit eg let her play with her ‘toys’ (on the bed)
(Especially there are times where I’m still tired and want to rest awhile more, I’ll let her play by herself (but still semi ‘watch’ her)…)
– Change her pampers
– “Milk milk” (every time she wakes up I’ll milk her to fill her tummy so that I can start to get busy and she can ‘play’ outside)
The above in no particular order usually.

• Estimated 10.30am – Start preparing her breakfast + lunch. (Since she woke up early, I decided to give her a fuller breakfast, then break for her lunch.)
(Usually it’s just some egg to fill her tummy while I prepare lunch (since she likes egg too).)
– Let her drink water (from water bottle). (Usually her dad would have helped to wash and prepare the bottle unless he is in a rush for work, then I’ll have to wash and prepare the water myself.)
(Not written – how many times she drinks – usually wherever possible (try to let her drink finish her bottle at least).)
(If possible, I will try to wash her hands. But I think today I did not.)
– First thing I’ll do, switch on the telly. She’ll then be hanging around in the living room watching TV (either DVD or Okto), if not playing with her toys, or else walking here and there, otherwise there are the days she’s more whiney and she keeps coming to find me, and I can’t really do my work.
(When she can’t find me in the living room, she’ll usually keep bringing the remote over (to the kitchen ‘entrance’ there, where the grey sofa is) to ask me to change to “I don’t really know exactly what at times”, otherwise “hang around” at the grey sofa there.)
– I’ll be running to and fro the kitchen and trying to watch her at the same time. If my grandma is around (some days she goes out for taiji/marketing), I’ll be more able to focus on my preparation since there is someone actually ‘watching’ her.
1) Check whether Mom (my mom) put rice in slow cooker to cook. (Usually she will help do this in the morning, either white rice/brown rice depending on the LO’s poo activity. If not then I’ll have to cook the white rice and ingredients together using saucepan. Takes about 30-45mins in total.)
(Usually I will also take out butter from fridge to let it soften. So I can make my wholemeal bread, usually after I’m done with all the preparation/towards the end.)
2) Take out fish from fridge to thaw in bowl of tap water. (I’ll try to flip to other side (it’s usually in a ziplock bag) after a short while to thaw the other side.)
3) Wash egg and put egg to cook in Toast N Egg
4) Put water to boil in saucepan for cooking rolled oats
5) Cut and prepare pear to cook with the oats
6) Throw in pear + oats to cook, with small fire, stirring and watching wherever possible
7) Take out pumpkin to chop into small cubes and rinse
8) Check if fish is soft, check for bones and rinse
9) Rinse the steamer/blender, then throw in pumpkin and fish (just recently I decided to cut short the steaming time for the pumpkin from 15 to 10mins because it’s always all so mashed and ‘gone’ by the time I add into the porridge). Set to steam for 5mins.
10) (By now the egg should have finished cooking.) Put cooked egg into a bowl of tap water (for easy peeling).
11) Peel the egg. Test the egg and eat a little (1/4). (Then I passed the bowl to my grandma to help feed her, if not then I’ll feed her whenever possible while ‘working’.)
12) Check on the oats. If ready, switch off fire and leave it there (let it cool a little).
13) Take out spinach and rinse and put into bowl of salted water (for at least 5mins preferably).
14) Scoop out the oats for myself (the Mommy) and a portion for the LO. Let it cool further (especially hers).
15) Rinse the spinach with tap water a few times. By now the steamer/blender should have finished steaming, so I add in the spinach and set another 5mins.
(Usually I will also be rinsing the thermos food container again too and drying it to get ready to put in the porridge, but I think I did it the night before so I skipped this today.)
16) Attempt to feed her the oats.
17) Wash up – knife, chopping board and bowls used for rinsing
18) Once steaming is ready, scoop porridge from rice cooker and the ingredients from steamer/blender. Switch off slow cooker.
(Usually I will pour ingredients (and some of the ‘juice’) into slow cooker to ‘cook’ for a little while more (5mins).)
19) Briefly rinse steamer/blender. (Usually I’ll try to wash at this point wherever possible as I’ll have to use it for dinner time too.)
20) Take over from grandma (since her lunch is ready and kept warm in food container). Try to eat my oats too. And also continue feeding her the oats + egg. (Usually I will try to give her berries too (if have) as the fruit portion. But she doesn’t really eat the blackberry/raspberry anyway. *lol)
– During this feeding time, she’ll be always requesting to change the DVD/show on TV. (Actually we all don’t really know what she wants at times. *haha. Many times we change to the DVD she seems to want (point at/nod her head), but she’ll just keep taking the controller and passing it to you.)
• By the end of the feeding (egg almost finished, oats only 5 tspns), it’s about 11.30am
• Let her try the Yoplait Petit Miam yogurt (first time). And nope, she didn’t really want it anymore after sampling 1-2 times.
• Soon after she requested for milk (by pointing at my breast).

• “Milk milk” but she didn’t sleep. By the time I finished changing her pampers + all the dilly dallying (she not ‘cooperating’, wearing her bottom + socks and shoes, packing my bag), it’s already about 12pm or so.
• Decided to bring her downstairs for a walk (this is ‘new’ because it’s not really part of our daily routine due to “no time”).

• Came home around 12.30pm. Tried to give her her lunch. Didn’t eat much, managed about 2 servings, and then she requested for “milk milk”.
• “Milk milk” and fell asleep around 1pm
(Usually it might take a few ‘tries’ (“milk milk” sessions then she did not sleep but started to get up to ‘play’/kept ‘nua’-ing about) before she actually falls asleep.)
(I will also try to cut her nails when I can – usually I have to trim every week (minimally once, ideally twice but it doesn’t really happen *haha) because her nails grow very fast.)

• I decided to settle my lunch first as she was asleep and she haven’t even had HER lunch (so I want to try and ‘save’ more time by making use of her sleeping time to eat). So I asked my grandma to prepare my food. Managed to eat almost everything (left some soup) when I sensed that she might have woken up (which she did) when I heard the renovation works. (I was outside eating the soup this round. At times (usually) I’ll bring in the food to eat in the room instead.)

• Checked in on her at about 2.15pm and she was awake.
(Usually she will have one nap in the afternoon lasting for (preferably at least) 1-2hrs.)
• “Milk milk” to pacify her (usually it’s this case if she just awakens/woke up abruptly)
(Usually when she naps, once she awakens abruptly, she will want her milk then suckle back to sleep. Basically “human pacifier”. Many times I have to just continue milking her (stay right by her side) because I just can’t unlatch from ‘her’. So I may just bunk in with her in the end since I can’t do anything else. Because of this, it also means that I always have to suppress the urge for the toilet businesses (apart from the other times where I tend to do so too because I just want to do my ‘work’, or I’m ‘attending’ to her and it’s not too convenient). >_<)
• Change her pampers

• Continue feeding her her lunch. (Already about 3hrs and I don’t like the idea of keeping the food inside for too long. Usually my limit is 3hrs and depending on whether it’s still ‘hot’/warm enough.) But she didn’t really want to eat. Somehow managed to feed her a reasonable amount (usually at least half if she really doesn’t want to eat, with ingredients as priority especially the fish).
(Usually her lunch/mealtime takes about an hour or so. Pretty standard. Her potato dinner meal may be slighter faster.)
• Settle my remaining lunch. (Usually I may try to feed her and eat my lunch at the same time too, otherwise it’s have my lunch (before she goes to nap) after she has had her lunch.)
• Let her play and relax abit

• I decided to (try and) bathe her. (Bathing her usually needs to “select the right time” otherwise it’ll be very tedious because she may cry hard all the way, struggling here and there, and I really don’t want that. It’s super stressful.) And so I started preparing all the stuffs.
– “Pua” all my clothings
(Note to myself: You should know why you did this.)
– “Pua” her clothings + towels (less force for hers (normal))
– Get ready the towels
– Prepare the stuffs eg bin, lotions and tissue box
– Rinse bathtub, basin and bath toys. (It’s very dusty always + the ‘soaking’ of the soapy water tends to make the tub, basin and toys very dirty (slippery).)
– Prepare bath water, basin water and bowl water
• Got her into the room (while water was still running in tub) but she sensed it and started crying (doing her fall backward stunt). And so, “milk milk”.
(At this stage, she seems to ‘dislike’ bathing because everytime we ask her to, or try to convince her to (at times it’s really ‘tedious’/challenging and you really have to be very, very patient just to convince her to “start the ball rolling” (let you start washing her hair)), she starts crying/whining and fussing about. She doesn’t seem to want to bathe. She doesn’t exactly love the hair-washing part (seems more so when the water (shower) is in contact with her hair/her hair is wet), but is ok with the face cleaning, and loves the neck washing part.)
• She didn’t sleep so eventually the bath ‘task’ proceeded. I ran all the water necessary and managed to bathe her (and myself).
(There are the days too when I didn’t manage to bathe her during the day (due to wrong timings) and so ends up I/her dad (plus me helping out a little and bathing myself) will bathe her later in the night after her dinner, which I try to not let it happen. Usually weekends daddy will bathe her while Mommy gets to bathe along. Then Daddy bathes after that.)
(Sleeping wise she tends to always ‘bluff’ for milk but she always doesn’t go to sleep…)

• Relax time (usually TV time if not her walking about, all busy, otherwise playing with her “masak masak”). Gave her her snack biscuit (as promised during bath to ‘pacify’ her to come out from bathtub).
(Usually bathing is all about getting her to ‘bathe’ (wash bum, undress, wash hair etc), putting her into bathtub after washing her hair, and getting her out of the bathtub when she’s all comfy and on “play mode” inside.)
(Ohh~ And she LOVES her biscuits. She’ll always point to the biscuits container or grab it to pass to you indicating that she wants to eat. At times even just after a meal, she also wants the biscuits.)
• Had my grandma to help “look after” her while I get busy.
– Bring down chicken from freezer to fridge
– Wash ALL the utensils (steamer/blender, slow cooker, saucepan).
(Usually if I’m busy in the kitchen, she’ll always be coming to look for me, either with the remote, with the biscuits container, or otherwise just ‘wanting’ me (to carry her).)
– Continue feeding her her biscuit whenever I have the chance.
– Decided to cook soup today so took out corn from fridge and cut out the corn from the cob. Took some and rinsed to cook in slow cooker while remaining to store in fridge.
(I’m trying to cook more variety of food for her now so kinda experimenting what else I can cook for her…)
– Time for her fruit (usually
I’ll try to feed her at least a serving of fruit in the afternoon/evening) so I rinsed the Chinese pear and cut into thin slices. (She kept coming with the biscuits container… *lol)
– Try to let her eat her fruit. (She quite likes Chinese pear.)

• “Milk milk” around 5.30pm, right after the fruit (she didn’t want anymore and requested for “milk milk”).
• She didn’t sleep so I wanted to start preparing for dinner. Had my grandma to help ‘watch’ her.
– Separated the soup from the corn (left corn in slow cooker with device off) into the saucepan
– Cut the potatoes into small cubes
– Sliced the onion
– Rinsed the baby corn and cut into small slices
– Put soup to boil
– Chop garlic into small pieces
– Cut tomatoes and deseed and deskin
– Throw potatoes, baby corn and onions into soup and cook for 10 mins (afterwhich I added another 5 mins)
– Chop abit of pumpkin into slices
– Put onions, garlic, tomatoes and pumpkin to steam for 10mins (supposedly for making the tomato sauce)
– Rinse broccoli and soak in salt water (for at least 5mins if possible)
– Rinse and wash broccoli with tap water
– Throw in broccoli into soup to cook for 5 mins
– After soup is ‘done’, scoop broccoli out to prevent ‘overcooking’ (turning yellow)
– Scoop out corn from slow cooker
– Pour soup into slow cooker to continue ‘warming’
– Grandma was rushing me whether I’m done so she can start cooking the dinner (*oops)
(Nowadays she doesn’t cook for the rest of the family anymore because her hands hurt. Today was just an exception where she prepared rice, simple dish and soup.)
– Once steamer/blender is done with steaming, pour out excess water and blend – tomato sauce done
(Usually throughout this process, the LO would have come over several times, and I probably would have gone over to TV area to help “change the cartoon” for her. Evening (say 6.30pm onwards) is where her favorite cartoons will show eg Spongebob, Pacman etc.)
• I scooped rice for her and started feeding her at about 7pm. She was ‘okay’ with the soup, but didn’t really fancy the tomato sauce (probably too oniony/garlicky).
• Mom came back around the same timing so she helped to feed her.
(Usually her dinner is the standard potato, broccoli, carrots + some meat (preferably chicken otherwise pork.)
• Once my food was ready, I started eating my dinner. (Usually a big plate of rice + the soup.)
(Usually my mom will help to feed the LO dinner, and I’ll have my dinner first.)
• She seemed sleepy and whiney at first, but luckily still managed to get her to eat her dinner. 7.30pm and grandpa is back from work. By then I have somewhat finished my meal, so I “took over” the feeding (then my mom can eat).
(Usually my grandma doesn’t cook dinner for the rest, so dinner will be bought back by my mum on the way back home or else my parents will just wait for me to finish dinner then go out and eat.)
• She ‘finished’ her meal at about 8pm and as usual, started requesting for “milk milk” as she seemed very tired already.
(By now, I have actually excluded the changing of pampers. Let’s just automatically include that in.)

• She fell asleep and slept till about 10+pm
(I’ve also excluded the exact no of times she actually milked because usually when she’s sleeping/napping, she tends to wake up halfway and she’ll request for milk, and I may need to milk her several times or otherwise I’m somewhat ‘stuck’ and can’t leave her side as she keeps on want to suckle. So I may just “bunk in” with her since I cannot do anything else.)
• Because she was suckling all the way after she “woke up” crying for milk, I had to suppress my urge to go to the loo (for very long) and by the time she sort of woke up, it was so urgent I asked my mom to come in and watch her while I dashed to the loo
• “Milk milk”
• Went out to living room to ‘play’
• Supposedly dessert time and I wanted to prepare some fruit but my mom had papaya and a slice of orange ready so she just fed the LO with papaya, which she didn’t want but pointed to the orange instead.
• So I ‘prepared’ the orange by ‘plucking’ out the orange ‘meat’ and putting them into a bowl for feeding with a spoon
• Tried to feed her the orange but she didn’t really want to eat
• Daddy came home.
(This is considered quite late, usually he’ll reach home around 9+pm, or if 8+pm then it’s considered early.)
• Her face started to ‘gek’, and so she did poo
• Wash her bum (her poo was so smelly this round! *no idea why)
• Continue ‘playing’ in the living room and eating her orange
• Dad (her dad) finished his dinner and so helped take over the feeding while I cooked rolled oats (again) to satisfy my hunger (this time no pear, I just added fresh milk)
(I’m now a very heavy duty eater! *yikes. I am also very amazed at how much I can eat, and how fast I get hungry/being hungry all the time!)
(Usually otherwise I will want to make bread (wholemeal bread with butter).)
• I decided to try making a smoothie (because we bought a blender but hadn’t tried it!) with the frozen bananas I prepared last week. Fresh milk as the base. (That’s about it for the ingredients because I thought since it’s the first try and I just wanted to see how it turned out as well as use up the bananas.) Turned out pretty yummy and very filling.

(This doesn’t happen all the time. Like I said, it’s a first try so usually no this. But will be trying to make more smoothies probably during the weekends. :))
• By about 11.45pm, her orange was somewhat finished (left a little bit which was quite insignificant)

• And then it was pretty much “milk milk” (a few rounds) and playtime, all the way till 1+am the next day (where she really fell asleep). And here I am, typing this post with my eyes super dry and ‘siap’ (hokkien term).

Yes! Finished this entry. Sort of. To be honest, at this point, I’ve kind of “given up” the idea of proof-reading and then touching up again (because I’ve done this routine countless times). I’ll just post it… Now! 🙂

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Happy Mother’s Day to me. :)

24hrs a day we stay together.
Never have I thought about how life would be being this close with another person.
It’s never me alone, nor you alone.
It’s always you and me.
Day by day, month by month.
Near to 16mths it has passed.
And yes, we are still inseparable.
But there will come a day, where things will change.
And it will no longer just be you and me.
So every moment I will cherish.
Cuddles and kisses I shower much.
Despite you’ll forget what happens now.
But I won’t and I’ll keep it in my heart.
I love you, my child.
No matter what.

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Labour Day! Woohoo!!!

Yes! Public holiday!

Time check: 8:13am

Somehow I woke up very early today (6+am) and after nursing her (when needed) I didn’t go back to sleep. As usual, I was (am) surfing around for ‘her’ stuffs (looking at organic foods/ drinks this round) and then just simply “catching up” in the “internet world”. Simply just, ‘relaxing’ I guess, or perhaps you can say, “lazing around” but all right by her side, watching my lil’ angel. ❤

Anyway, Happy Labour Day!!! It's great because the Daddy isn't working and we can bring her out to play (and Mommy is really looking forward to "go out" too since I really "stay home" majority of the time being a full time SAHM). And I get to 'rest' a little with the rest around.

So I hope YOU have a great day too, no matter what you decide (or have) to be doing. And it'll be very soon (just one more day, Friday) and then the weekend is here!

CHEERS!!!!

And here's a happy pic of V from yesterday in celebration of today. *hehe

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My “happy pill”, who’s growing up a tad too fast

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Doing Things Single-Handedly (One Arm)

Yep, when you turn a Mom, you learn (tend) to do things/tasks (most of the time) with one hand (arm).

Here are some examples:
• Going to loo (here I mean unbuttoning, zipping, pulling up/down your pants and panty + cleaning)
• Pushing the stroller
• Carrying bags (non-shoulder style)
• Washing food/fruit/utensils (rinsing with water only)
• Filling up water (in cup from water dispenser) to drink
• Preparing her bath (washing (rinsing with water) her bath items eg bathtub, small + big basin, bath toys etc)
• (Thinking back~) Washing her bum (includes cleansing with wet cotton balls, changing her napkin, putting medicine cream+powder/nappy rash cream etc) whilst I am cradling her. (We used to have the sore bum crisis then and so cleansing her bum was really time crucial if she dirtied her nappy.)

I think I have yet ‘gained’ another level (leveled up) in my motherhood journey. *lol. (Pardon me but I tend to relate my motherhood experiences/achievements/challenges as leveling up (like when you play a game) which I gain pure satisfaction and pride from my actual motherhood journey (real life game with no retries). ^.^)

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Cherishing EVERY Moment NOW

The exceptionally fascinating first year has passed. She is now a toddler, instead of a baby (even though till date I still see and term her as one using ‘baby’ in all the hashtags :P). And I am already missing the ‘younger’ Venice like way before now.

I have to say I am totally loving the close bond that we share, and that we’re inseparable (Mommy = “milk milk”). I adore her ‘stickiness’ to me (actually the Mommy is very sticky to her too :P) and whenever she does her koala bear style ‘thing’, my heart just melts completely.

Despite:
• No ME time – My life is all about her/attending to her needs now. She has become my number 1 priority (she will always come before me). Don’t really have much time for myself except using the iPhone/MacBook while she naps or sleeps in the night. Other than that, there is usually not much I can do…

• No dating with the Daddy – Only went out a few times by ourselves when she was much younger and then she started rejecting the bottle. Our last movie was like, “Wreck It, Ralph”. *duh. And now whenever we go out, definitely comes as a package, as a family. 🙂

• Skipping friends gatherings – I’ve opted ‘out’ to numerous outings/meet-ups due to strict diet and venue restrictions (breastfeeding) as I didn’t want to impose those restrictions and cause any inconvenience to the outings too.

• Gone days without bathing – Yes, I am guilty (but the consolation is that I think many other SAHMs share the same experience as me). But those WERE the days… Recently I’ve “leveled up” and managed to be able to bathe together (decent bath) with her so, “Hooray!” for me. 🙂

• No time for personal/basic grooming – Daily skincare regime is not JUST an easy 5-10 minutes for me. If I can complete the whole ‘routine’, I’ll normally be feeling accomplished and somewhat pleased.

• NO luxury grooming at all – No facials, spas, manicures/pedicures (since we’re inseparable, and also the fact that I am more kiasi and extra careful (I abide by the “better safe than sorry” rule) now that I have Venice and I really do not want to be in touch with any chemicals/unknown drugs). Not to mention, JUST a haircut… I’m in need of one, badly, now, and I’d wanted to go since before CNY? Shows how a simple haircut is such a BIG+DIFFICULT ‘PROJECT’.

• Not being able to dress up ‘pretty’ – I miss wearing pretty dresses/skirts and heels… Accessories especially necklaces and embellishments on my top (clothing) are a strict no-no since she tends to always ‘bang’ her head onto my chest area. I’m breastfeeding so my choice of clothes is pretty limited/straightforward – easy to pull up tops. Skirts are kind of inconvenient since I’m always carrying her and I do not want any unnecessary ‘exposure’. And heels I worry about balance and stress on my feet since I normally carry her for long. So many times I actually envy other ladies who get to dress up oh-so-prettily. But I’ll have my chance soon. 🙂

• Messy and unkempt hair – That’s usually how my hair is on a normal daily basis (especially more previously – now my hair is so much an improvement as I’ll try to tidy up whenever I can). My mum would always say with a giggle, “Why your hair so messy? (So busy until your hair also so untidy.)”. Yeah, thanks Mum. *lol

• Hair loss – This is a SERIOUS problem. Ever since I don’t know when, my hair has been dropping and dropping, dropping and dropping (the hormonal changes + (still) breastfeeding I believe), until my ponytail mane has turned so thin (it was really very thick previously), and all my hair is always EVERYWHERE. Each time I comb my hair downwards, I see hair. On the comb, falling off to the ground… 😦 And not too long ago I noticed in some of the photos the top of my head actually has a lobang! *super ugly. And so even though I would love to dye my hair (to a color more ‘atrocious’ or should I say different maybe), I think I’d better put on hold else I may have NO hair after I do the dyeing.

(I’ve actually been editing on this post for countless times especially on the above (‘despite’ portion). I guess I’m just not in favor of/too comfortable writing down any negatives in relation to my precious girl (which may seemingly sound like ‘complaining’ (now that I have her in my life)). Or simply because it might create an impression that I don’t love her (which is TOTALLY untrue – in fact, I am crazily in love with her!). But I decided (again) to so perhaps in the future IF I really do forget about the details in this beginning phase of my motherhood journey now, I’d have this to refer to and recall the details back/reminisce. :))

…I love this phase of motherhood now (and of course the upcoming many other phases as well, and of course the WHOLE motherhood journey). So what (to the above ‘despite’s)? There will come a stage where she no longer needs me THIS much, where she is not totally dependent on me now, and things will change. I will have more time then. I will be able to go on dates with the Daddy. I will be able to meet up with my girlfriends (without much restrictions, just like how it used to be). I will be able to doll myself up, wear a pretty dress and walk in killer heels. I shall have a lovely haircut (and new color!) and look refreshingly ‘fresh’/edgy (*haha). I shall go for facials, spas and manicures to pamper my aging body (*haha)……….

So… I’m not in a hurry, really. I always tell myself (aware of the fact that), the time will come when she won’t be this close to me anymore (and it’s true), and I may long for it but this phase will just have passed and become part of a beautiful memory of my lifelong journey as a mother, and then I’ll be missing all these times. So I really treasure the times I have with her now. I treasure the close bond that we share right now. I feel blessed and honored that she is sticky to me (it probably means she really loves me so I guess I’m doing a pretty good job as a mother right now? *smug), because she wants me, she needs me. I am her mother. It is in my blood then I am (fully) responsible for her overall well-being and emotional needs. I love her dearly and I believe she loves me dearly too. And so I am happy despite, all that… I’m fine (cool) with it. I have to say (clarify), it’s really no big deal. 🙂

Yes, there may be times I may feel somewhat down (normally just for that moment/short while only, which I think it’s normal, isn’t it? – otherwise I’m probably abnormal), but otherwise I am living a very happy life now. I am blessed to be able to stay home (not work, and be a SAHM (a darn proud one too!), thanks to my hubby) and look after her 24/7 and be able to witness her every new milestone, be the first to know what happens exactly and when each day, be the one to update the others on what has happened, or if she just did something new/cute, be by her side ALL the time, cuddle right next to her and be able to take naps together with her, be her ‘main’ playmate and ‘teacher’ (I guess), seeing her smile brightly when she wakes up and sees me first thing in the morning… I love how she is always ‘finding’ me and coming over to ‘cling’ into me… How she whines for me and stops once I carry her. (I could really just go on and on here…) All these means ALOT to me. And I am thankful and appreciative of what I have and am going through now.

Motherhood. This first/early phase of motherhood. I’m a mother now, it’s no longer just me. Something AMAZING and BEAUTIFUL happened to me. (Actually) my life changed (completely) the very moment she started ‘residing’ inside me. She shared with me/’borrowed’ my body as her ‘home’ while she grew bigger and bigger all safe in my tummy… And then I actually gave birth to her. It was only then I feel like I’ve really become a COMPLETE woman (though I’m still like a child at times). I’m HER mother. I’m Venice‘s Mommy.

I love you, sweetie. You mean everything to me. My life has completely changed for the better now that I have you in it. You just make everything worth it. You complete me. You complete US.

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US+our gift from Heavens. @Antoinette (taken recently).

L.O.V.E ❤