Here’s a link I chanced upon and I would like to share it:
Before You Were Mommy
She is totally spot on on paragraphs 8-14 (the ones in italic):
Ladies, there will come a day when your husband walks in the door and you do not turn around. You will be preoccupied with filling up sippy cups and wiping booties. You will shout over the running bath water, “Hey! Glad you’re home.” But it won’t mean what it used to mean. It won’t be full of eager anticipation to spend time together. It will be full of expectations to aid in the demands of the family. “Glad you’re home,” will more properly translate, “Thank God for two extra hands to help me.” And “Praise the Lord I might get five minutes alone.”
Ladies, there will come a day when you spend every last ounce of yourselves on your children. The demands of life and the babies will come before any other priority. What little of yourself you have left at the end of the day will be used to crawl into bed before someone is awake to need you again. The thought of doing anything else after the children are asleep will sound impossible and your handsome husband’s happy smile had better mean he is willing to get up with the baby and nothing more.
The husband that once completed your heart will be just one more person who needs you. The charming things that you fell for will go unnoticed. The daily grind will become expected.
Men, there will come a time when that beautiful bride sitting next to you hasn’t showered in days. She will be at her wit’s end wearing other people’s food and poop on her clothing. She will need to hear that she is beautiful, but she won’t listen to you. She will need to know that she is still lovable, but she won’t want you near her. When you arrive home after meeting the demands of work, you will be expected to meet the demands of your family. Your wife will hear none of your exhaustion, and you will see none of hers.
Men, you will call home to ask a quick question and anticipate a two-minute conversation. Half of it will be spent listening to your wife talk to your kids. As a matter of fact, you will make it no more than a few sentences in to any conversation ever before your wife spurts out direction to your children.“Don’t climb that!” or “Don’t sit on your sister!” You will become accustomed to these outbursts, but you will forget that there was ever a time when you had her full attention.
But Ladies, when Mommy becomes your name, remember this man. Remember that you are his wife. Remember how much you love and appreciate him in this moment. Remember his dedication to your family. Remember his love and devotion to you. And then, when the days are long and you need a break, fall into his arms.
Men, remember your bride. The care and love that she has given you will soon be spilled over to your children. Her love for you will not change. Give her the grace to be enough even when she doesn’t feel like it. Remember when your days are long, hers are too. Remember her. Fall in love with her again.
I’ll just have to say what she said really relates to my (our) life now.
The part where we (mommies) just look forward to ‘help’ rather than “our husbands”…
The part where we devote ALL of ourselves all to our child/children… And that his happy smile should just mean he is willing to “take care” of the baby.
The showering part… And very importantly, this: Your wife will hear none of your exhaustion, and you will see none of hers.. Seems so, so true for my (our) case (now). We do tend to (and have) argued/debated before on who has the ‘right’ to be more tired and I do feel that he just doesn’t seem to understand how it’s like for me in a day as a SAHM.
And yes, the phone conversation part… It does seem like this whenever he calls back. I’ll be trying to concentrate on what he’s saying and also ‘entertaining’/attending to the little one by talking/’watching’ her… So yes, I always do talk/raise my voice at her whilst on the phone with my hubby. (Oops.) And usually, I “can’t wait” to end the call because it’s just quite distracting to be focusing (closely) on 2 things at a time.
Will try to ‘learn’ from this article… And remember “my man”. ❤