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Mommy, Hold My Hand Please. :)

Enough said.

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❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

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My baby is 14 months old! – 14.03.2014 (Friday)

The Mommy had actually, completely, forgotten ALL ABOUT IT!!!! AHHHH!!! *guilty

It was only when the Daddy watsapp-ed about it on the very same day (in the night) that I actually realized. 😦 (But I managed to upload her 14-month-old picture in Facebook before her 14-month-old-day was over. *yay)

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Taken (obviously) during her bathtime 😀

So far:
• she is still a total breastfeeding baby (fully latch-on). And yes, despite the regular routine of having to wake up every few hours (even throughout the late night), and the pain in my cracked nipples that I had gone through, I must say I really love and appreciate the bond that breastfeeding has given to us. The fact that we are so close is hugely all thanks to breastfeeding (latching). I know I’ve hit my initial target of breastfeeding for at least a year but now I’m actually hoping (intending to extend) till 2? Or at least 18 months perhaps. I am enjoying this process and private intimate moment of ours too much. 🙂

• she has 7 teeth (unless any new one(s) has/have cut through again and I haven’t ‘discovered’ yet). 3 on top, 4 below.

• her last weight taken (sometime about a month ago) was 8.4kg

• she eats 2 meals (lunch and dinner) and ideally at least one serving of fruit. Usually whilst I am cooking her lunch, we will also feed her some egg/bread as her so-called breakfast. If timing allows, and she is ‘cooperative’ in that sense (eats her food), two servings of fruit would be most ideal.

Breakfast: Egg (usually half/one third or even less)/bread (recently I’ve switched to giving wholemeal bread)

Lunch: Fish porridge with pumpkin and spinach (otherwise brown rice at times if she poo-ed the day before)

Dessert (afternoon/night): Cherries/Banana/Orange usually (otherwise plum, grapes etc)

Dinner: Potato with broccoli and carrot (I try to add chicken/pork wherever possible and occasionally a little tomato)

• she is still learning to walk. But honestly, she can now walk by herself for about 10-20+ steps IF she just walks slowly. Otherwise, she also attempts to ‘run’ (in BIG steps) very quickly with support (us holding on to her hand), so I think by another 2 weeks (maximum), she’ll be able to walk already… At the rate (of ‘training’) she’s going everyday. But we actually still watch her (be right behind her) closely to catch her in case she falls especially backwards where she tends to knock her head (still quite wobbly/’drunken’ style at times *haha). She is the “no fear” kind. 🙂 Standing without support she can manage for quite a while already… *whee
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Let her try walking at 313 where the floor is carpeted (her first time)

• she recognizes people and objects now. Familiar people like us (her family), she is able to point out (otherwise do the “not around” hands/arms action), and she can even point to her own self when we ask her the following: Venice, Ruoxin, me (referring to her), little rascal, pretty girl. She is also able to point out objects/items like calendar, fan, apple, orange, banana, socks, baby, tv, cartoon etc. She knows all her soft toys’ names (even the cartoon characters!) and can also point out correctly certain items on the wall charts/books. She ‘knows’ where is her “milk milk” so when we ask her, she will point at my, well, breasts. *hee
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All excited when we first got her (put up) the wall charts

• she loves kissing me (mouth-to-mouth and ‘wet’ somemore!) and always sayangs (hugs) us (especially me and her Mak Mak)
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Loves to ‘rest’ on my (our) chest – such a sweet girl! Mommy loves you!!! ❤

• she always ‘snatches’ my cup from me to drink water from it, then push back to me so I can drink, and then grab the cup away from me again. It goes on until I quickly finish the water. And usually by then she would have ‘leaked’ the water all over herself (usually thigh). And then she’ll go touching the water with her fingers… (How cute!!! :P)

• she loves making the “Ahh” sound after sipping her water, or just simply, upon seeing us drink water/liquids

• she knows how to throw tantrum (by leaning backwards) whenever you don’t let her have her way. Or if I (we) tell her to open up her hand and ”打打” (means “beat beat” in Chinese), she will also whine/fuss about in denial.

• she ‘talks’ a lot. ‘Words’ such as “maa”, “baa”, “daa”, “ahh” (usually), we will always hear from her. She tends to sing along saying “baa” whenever we sing “Baa Baa Black Sheep” to her. Nowadays, we’re hearing a lot of “maa”s too, especially when she ‘wants’ me. ❤

• she is always pointing about whenever she requests/wants that particular item/object
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Pointing to ‘something’ at our shelf facing our bed

• recently she likes to open her mouth wide (giving an astonished look) whenever we (I) flash her that look too (look shocked/surprised too)
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Mouth wide open looking astonished here when I just gasp and open my mouth wide too

• she actually “fake laughs” making the “kek-kek-kek” sound

• she loves reading books/magazines (looking at the pictures), or perhaps the flipping of the page action
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Reading her Dinosaur Colors book

• unfortunately she is still very afraid of her (paternal) grandpa. Still cries the moment she sees him come home (come in through the door). If he stops and talks/looks/tries to interact with her, it’s worse. Her tears will just keep flowing non-stop. *gee

Well honestly, I could just go on and on and on… But I think I’ll stop here. (I actually started this post a day after her 14-month-old day, and it’s only up till now that I’m able to touch up this post and get it like, published.

Stay happy, healthy, cheeky, sweet, loving and bubbly! ALL OF US LOVE YOU, SWEETIE. 🙂 ❤ ❤ ❤

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Cherishing EVERY Moment NOW

The exceptionally fascinating first year has passed. She is now a toddler, instead of a baby (even though till date I still see and term her as one using ‘baby’ in all the hashtags :P). And I am already missing the ‘younger’ Venice like way before now.

I have to say I am totally loving the close bond that we share, and that we’re inseparable (Mommy = “milk milk”). I adore her ‘stickiness’ to me (actually the Mommy is very sticky to her too :P) and whenever she does her koala bear style ‘thing’, my heart just melts completely.

Despite:
• No ME time – My life is all about her/attending to her needs now. She has become my number 1 priority (she will always come before me). Don’t really have much time for myself except using the iPhone/MacBook while she naps or sleeps in the night. Other than that, there is usually not much I can do…

• No dating with the Daddy – Only went out a few times by ourselves when she was much younger and then she started rejecting the bottle. Our last movie was like, “Wreck It, Ralph”. *duh. And now whenever we go out, definitely comes as a package, as a family. 🙂

• Skipping friends gatherings – I’ve opted ‘out’ to numerous outings/meet-ups due to strict diet and venue restrictions (breastfeeding) as I didn’t want to impose those restrictions and cause any inconvenience to the outings too.

• Gone days without bathing – Yes, I am guilty (but the consolation is that I think many other SAHMs share the same experience as me). But those WERE the days… Recently I’ve “leveled up” and managed to be able to bathe together (decent bath) with her so, “Hooray!” for me. 🙂

• No time for personal/basic grooming – Daily skincare regime is not JUST an easy 5-10 minutes for me. If I can complete the whole ‘routine’, I’ll normally be feeling accomplished and somewhat pleased.

• NO luxury grooming at all – No facials, spas, manicures/pedicures (since we’re inseparable, and also the fact that I am more kiasi and extra careful (I abide by the “better safe than sorry” rule) now that I have Venice and I really do not want to be in touch with any chemicals/unknown drugs). Not to mention, JUST a haircut… I’m in need of one, badly, now, and I’d wanted to go since before CNY? Shows how a simple haircut is such a BIG+DIFFICULT ‘PROJECT’.

• Not being able to dress up ‘pretty’ – I miss wearing pretty dresses/skirts and heels… Accessories especially necklaces and embellishments on my top (clothing) are a strict no-no since she tends to always ‘bang’ her head onto my chest area. I’m breastfeeding so my choice of clothes is pretty limited/straightforward – easy to pull up tops. Skirts are kind of inconvenient since I’m always carrying her and I do not want any unnecessary ‘exposure’. And heels I worry about balance and stress on my feet since I normally carry her for long. So many times I actually envy other ladies who get to dress up oh-so-prettily. But I’ll have my chance soon. 🙂

• Messy and unkempt hair – That’s usually how my hair is on a normal daily basis (especially more previously – now my hair is so much an improvement as I’ll try to tidy up whenever I can). My mum would always say with a giggle, “Why your hair so messy? (So busy until your hair also so untidy.)”. Yeah, thanks Mum. *lol

• Hair loss – This is a SERIOUS problem. Ever since I don’t know when, my hair has been dropping and dropping, dropping and dropping (the hormonal changes + (still) breastfeeding I believe), until my ponytail mane has turned so thin (it was really very thick previously), and all my hair is always EVERYWHERE. Each time I comb my hair downwards, I see hair. On the comb, falling off to the ground… 😦 And not too long ago I noticed in some of the photos the top of my head actually has a lobang! *super ugly. And so even though I would love to dye my hair (to a color more ‘atrocious’ or should I say different maybe), I think I’d better put on hold else I may have NO hair after I do the dyeing.

(I’ve actually been editing on this post for countless times especially on the above (‘despite’ portion). I guess I’m just not in favor of/too comfortable writing down any negatives in relation to my precious girl (which may seemingly sound like ‘complaining’ (now that I have her in my life)). Or simply because it might create an impression that I don’t love her (which is TOTALLY untrue – in fact, I am crazily in love with her!). But I decided (again) to so perhaps in the future IF I really do forget about the details in this beginning phase of my motherhood journey now, I’d have this to refer to and recall the details back/reminisce. :))

…I love this phase of motherhood now (and of course the upcoming many other phases as well, and of course the WHOLE motherhood journey). So what (to the above ‘despite’s)? There will come a stage where she no longer needs me THIS much, where she is not totally dependent on me now, and things will change. I will have more time then. I will be able to go on dates with the Daddy. I will be able to meet up with my girlfriends (without much restrictions, just like how it used to be). I will be able to doll myself up, wear a pretty dress and walk in killer heels. I shall have a lovely haircut (and new color!) and look refreshingly ‘fresh’/edgy (*haha). I shall go for facials, spas and manicures to pamper my aging body (*haha)……….

So… I’m not in a hurry, really. I always tell myself (aware of the fact that), the time will come when she won’t be this close to me anymore (and it’s true), and I may long for it but this phase will just have passed and become part of a beautiful memory of my lifelong journey as a mother, and then I’ll be missing all these times. So I really treasure the times I have with her now. I treasure the close bond that we share right now. I feel blessed and honored that she is sticky to me (it probably means she really loves me so I guess I’m doing a pretty good job as a mother right now? *smug), because she wants me, she needs me. I am her mother. It is in my blood then I am (fully) responsible for her overall well-being and emotional needs. I love her dearly and I believe she loves me dearly too. And so I am happy despite, all that… I’m fine (cool) with it. I have to say (clarify), it’s really no big deal. 🙂

Yes, there may be times I may feel somewhat down (normally just for that moment/short while only, which I think it’s normal, isn’t it? – otherwise I’m probably abnormal), but otherwise I am living a very happy life now. I am blessed to be able to stay home (not work, and be a SAHM (a darn proud one too!), thanks to my hubby) and look after her 24/7 and be able to witness her every new milestone, be the first to know what happens exactly and when each day, be the one to update the others on what has happened, or if she just did something new/cute, be by her side ALL the time, cuddle right next to her and be able to take naps together with her, be her ‘main’ playmate and ‘teacher’ (I guess), seeing her smile brightly when she wakes up and sees me first thing in the morning… I love how she is always ‘finding’ me and coming over to ‘cling’ into me… How she whines for me and stops once I carry her. (I could really just go on and on here…) All these means ALOT to me. And I am thankful and appreciative of what I have and am going through now.

Motherhood. This first/early phase of motherhood. I’m a mother now, it’s no longer just me. Something AMAZING and BEAUTIFUL happened to me. (Actually) my life changed (completely) the very moment she started ‘residing’ inside me. She shared with me/’borrowed’ my body as her ‘home’ while she grew bigger and bigger all safe in my tummy… And then I actually gave birth to her. It was only then I feel like I’ve really become a COMPLETE woman (though I’m still like a child at times). I’m HER mother. I’m Venice‘s Mommy.

I love you, sweetie. You mean everything to me. My life has completely changed for the better now that I have you in it. You just make everything worth it. You complete me. You complete US.

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US+our gift from Heavens. @Antoinette (taken recently).

L.O.V.E ❤

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*^~Hugs & Kisses~^* <3 <3 <3

As a mum, I’m always (whenever I have a chance/constantly) planting a kiss (peck) on my lil’ one… And I’ll always try to hug her (especially after she wakes up, before I carry her up from the bed (our bed is just the mattress right on the floor)).

So far, I make it a point to hug her after she wakes up (like I mentioned above), and kiss her on the forehead while putting her to sleep (nursing while lying down). I think it’s hugely important to introduce hugs and kisses to her and ‘incorporate’ (I don’t really know what word to use here) it into part of her daily lifestyle… Just because hugs and kisses are a form of “loving touch” I feel. It makes one feel good and loved upon giving/receiving it to/from another party, especially someone you love (who is very close/important to you).

I remember when my gramps (grandpa) passed away in September 2008, I had the thought about regretting why I hadn’t really hugged him before he really left us, and I blamed myself for finding it a little awkward (or ‘funny’) to try and initiate one “out of nowhere”. Until he really left us. (But it probably isn’t the most ‘suitable’ scenario then as he was already ill and hospitalised during the ending stage.) I felt so mad at myself, and I imagined how ‘good’ it would have felt if we simply, just hugged. It could be we were just not used to hugging each other as we had never really did so. It was never really initiated, even though our relationship is pretty close (I would say). And he and grandma probably came from an era (generation) that is not so ‘open’ (in terms of displaying such affection) in that sense. People in the olden days I think tend to be more reserved (shy). But all these, are just EXCUSES. 😦 It was only after he left us (to a better place) that I started hugging my grandma etc. And it became more ‘natural’ once you start (and keep) doing it… It felt good, I believe, for both the giver AND receiver.

I’m sorry, 阿公. I wished I had… (I shan’t go into the many details here…) I know you won’t blame me at all, and you love me (us) lots, no matter what… He has always been a family man who treasures spending time/doing things together as a BIG family (with his son and daughters, and grandchildren). We somehow all the more valued that after he passed away. I must say, it was probably because of him (his departure + his belief), that we all ‘grew’ closer in one way or another, and started appreciating all the inter-family gatherings.

Many a times I will think to myself, “If only he is still around, he’ll be so happy to…”. See his granddaughter (me) get married. Hear the news on my expectancy. Play with his GREAT-granddaughter! He would be, SO, SO thrilled and happy (I believe)! But LIFE, as it is, is cruel in such a way… Sad to say, I can do nothing to change this fact (his departure). I only wish (and keep reminding myself) that he is at a better place, all happy with no worries. And deep down in my heart, I really hope he is watching over us and sharing all the joys we are having, smiling over us.

Okay, enough on my gramps (I miss you so much, I really do)… (Kind of sidetracked a little~ *Just a granddaughter thinking about (missing) her grandpa…)

SO, anyway, back to the original topic, and so I’d like Venice to be growing up in an environment where hugs and kisses are definitely not ‘missing’ (or rare, or even ‘awkward’) from our lives, where it will be integrated in such a way as part of our lifestyle (oh-so-naturally), also a means of our family bond, be it with her Mommy, Daddy, grandma, grandpa and even Chor Chor. (And yes, the above segment on my grandpa does all the more make me want to cultivate it into our lives.)

So far, she is a baby (toddler) that pretty much loves touch. She likes (always wants) to be carried/cuddled, will sayang us (me and Mak Mak (her grandma) especially) by leaning her face against ours, or lying her head on our shoulder/chest, will come and hug us, just letting me hold her in my arms, or resting on me, will come and kiss me by her own self (and recently straight on at my mouth, sticking her tongue out)! *Awwwwwwww~ I LOVE YOU, SWEETIE! She really makes me feel so loved by her at times. 🙂

Here’s a recent pic of her (and yes, it’s a self shot that I attempted because I badly wanted shots of her kissing me but yet the Daddy isn’t one to really take photographs of US (more candid/natural shots depicting our daily lifestyle)) kissing me right on the mouth!

Passionate kiss from the lil' one. Mouth to mouth. And wet. :P

Passionate kiss from the lil’ one. Mouth to mouth. And wet. 😛

I believe it’s also because so far me (and my mom) has always been kissing her and hugging (sayang-ing) her so now she has also learnt how to do all these… Especially since we do it on such a regular basis (I do it everyday) and I feel pretty heartening that she is so close to me now. Must be all the carrying, cuddling, hugging, kisses and 24/7 time spent together with her. A SUPER PLUS point from being a SAHM. ❤