Today (because it’s past midnight), 11th February, is our 2nd wedding (6th got-together) anniversary and so Daddy had to work overtime yesterday to clear up all his work (just so he wouldn’t get ‘disturbed’ today, on our supposedly very special day, where he had taken leave to celebrate with me (and of course, the little one)).
And so he reached home later yesterday (but technically speaking should be today because it’s already past midnight) around 12+am and the little girl is already sleeping while I was nursing her.
Not that I blame my husband for coming home late (almost everyday – usually he’ll reach home around 10+/11+pm, and at times (but rare) earlier perhaps, say 8+/9+pm, and at times (NOT really once in a blue moon IMO) even later past midnight), but I just can’t help but feel upset about it. Every single day, we (me and of course I include Venice) just wait for him to reach home, but it’s always a long, long wait until I long have the “Late. AGAIN. As usual.” mentality (and I’m always not wrong) and I don’t harbor much (or any) hope in seeing him come back home early (even when he says so – be it “try to” or when he thinks he can during earlier part of the day). I don’t deny but I do get pissed at him (though deep down inside I really know it’s not his fault to begin with – I really do blame his company/boss though) especially at times when I’m more tired that day, or the times where she’s throwing a tantrum/being ‘naughty’ and I’m ‘deal’-ing with it my own self (again), or the times where we (my family member(s))/I play with Venice and she’s having a super great time, laughing/giggling like mad, or the ‘special’ moments (to me) where she does something new and we (the same ‘we’)/I get to witness it etc etc. I feel kind of sad that he, the Daddy, is missing out on all these great moments, or otherwise, selfishly letting me “take care” of Venice all by myself (I will feel that he’s not playing his role/part as her father). When he comes home, usually all tired and weary, he doesn’t have too much energy to ‘bond’ with Venice, and of course, it’s near her bedtime as well (but she sleeps pretty late for a baby – around 11+pm/12+am usually). Not that it’s much time (left) to be bonding with your little one anyway, I must say. He does play with her but there are the times where I clearly can tell/sense that he’s just ‘waiting’ for her to go and sleep (either his eyelids are like closing or he already dozed off to deep sleep) while she just plays by herself (most of the time I’ll have to be around there too otherwise if I leave her with the daddy alone, she’ll cry for me). Usually I can’t bear to see her being ‘neglected’ by the Daddy, and so I’ll go and join her in whatever she’s doing.
Every night, we (family member(s))/I will go, “Where’s Daddy?”, and she’ll always look around and/or then point to the door implying he’s not around, then we/I will ‘explain’, “Daddy not home. Daddy still at work.”. It’s kind of sad (I feel). (It’s not that we want to ‘remind’ her that Daddy is STILL not home to spend time with her, but it’s just something we like to ask her, asking her where is each and everyone of us, seeing how she answers by pointing at whoever is the target we asked her. And it’s only logical we also include her daddy.)
And LUCKY we (my hubby and I, and of course, Venice) are staying here at my parents’ place, otherwise I can’t imagine HOW TIRED AND WORN OUT I’ll be if we were really staying at our new place now. (I’ll be super displeased too since all the more she will need her Daddy’s company.) Here I have my mum and dad to help me out during the night (when they come home from work) so I get to “take a break”, and Venice won’t feel ‘lonely’ with all the extra doting and company around her. Otherwise I know I can’t rely on my hubby as of now… I’ll be REALLY MAD at him. *lol
I don’t know if THIS (Venice not seeing her daddy much during weekdays) is ‘unhealthy’ for her or not (and I’m glad it so happens she has all the extra ‘loving’ at home which kind of compensates for her “missing Daddy”) but I really do hope ‘this’ ends real soon. And I totally am NOT in favor of it. I want the Daddy to spend more time with her (on weekdays), and not be updated by me instead on what happened ‘today’.
Well, so much for complaining. 😛
Tomorrow (NO, today) is gonna be a great day. ^_^
And here’s a HAPPY pic of our sweetie to chaste away all the blues!~