My name is Cozel and I am a first time mother of a lovely baby girl (she’s actually a toddler now but I still prefer terming her as ‘baby’) named Venice (aka Ruoxin). She is now 12 months old (1YO) coming 13 months old in 1 week’s time. (OMG~ How time really flies! We were still planning on how to celebrate her 1YO birthday some time back, and then the pre-celebrations came, and then her actual birthday, and now, her birthday’s like, over. *duh)
I am currently a SAHM (and I am really grateful to my hubby who ‘allowed’ it). And I want to clarify here to the many people (usually ladies who have yet to settle down – in my case, my friends who ‘envy’ me so fall under that category), whose impression is that SAHMs are living a great tai-tai like life, PLEASE, STOP SAYING THAT to a SAHM. Well, I honestly don’t expect them (my friends) to know how it’s like since they are not at this stage in life yet (I mean, becoming a mother), and I don’t blame them, but at least, I really hated being ‘disturbed’ to as “enjoying life” without having to work blah blah blah~. It’s really “You have NO idea” lor~ And “You will never know until you become one yourself”. (How true… Scary. *lol. And now my mum is like, “Now become mother already then you know hor?”) And how am I going to convince you?? And honestly WHY should I be even doing so?? (Seriously I can’t really be bothered and I don’t feel I’m required to do so.) It’s bad enough that I’m not being ‘appreciated’ as a SAHM, or given a gentle pat on the back and being praised, “Keep up the good job. I know how tiring it must be for you.”. It’s usually the case where it seems all ‘tough’ on the working fathers, having to support the ‘family’, where people tend to close one eye when they are all “tired from work”. Seems like they have that ‘right’. But what about the mothers at home who ‘work’ 24 hrs a day? Whatever happened to the understanding and appreciation they (we) should get? Anyway… (Just complaining a little… You know…) Well… Usually I will just respond by disagreeing and saying it’s not what they think (lor) and ‘explain’ that I am taking care of the baby instead of enjoying life like what they may be imagining in their heads. Well, if I really disliked it, then I guess all other SAHMs should more or less feel a ‘pinch’ too, especially if they have had a bad/tiring day, or if they are having a hard time.
Don’t get me wrong, I love being a SAHM. I feel blessed to be able to spend all day with her, to be able to witness every new milestone she achieves… I WANT to know exactly how many times she poo-ed, what is it like in appearance, how was her mood today, what new things she did today etc etc (the list goes on). I love waking up and seeing her first thing in the morning, and I want to be the first person she sees when she opens her eyes. I love seeing her lips curl up into a smile upon seeing me, and I want to be ALWAYS there for her. I love cuddling her to sleep, and I want to be right by her side, giving her the warmth and comfort that she needs. Honestly, I could just go on and on, so I think I had better stop… But I just feel there are people who tend to have the misconception that SAHMs are having an ‘easy’ life~ And I don’t like it. *haha (Maybe because I’m not exactly “enjoying life” in that sense? What I am referring to here is the manicures, shopping, high tea etc etc.) But I’m totally loving motherhood, totally obsessed with my erm, own flesh and blood. *lol. (Wow~ What a shiok feeling to be able to use the term “my own flesh and blood”~ :D) I am cherishing and enjoying every (well, not every lah, but…) moment with her, indulging in the great joys I’ve been awarded and am still being awarded… That’s how this blog site (Obsessed Mommy) came about and basically it’s all how I’m feeling right now… I am like, TOTALLY in LOVE with my sweetie pie! Hence, I decided to start up a form of entry logs (which I can also refer to later on in life – probably the time will come when I forget all these little moments/happenings/feelings, and I’ll be thankful I have this blog site) sharing my experience/thoughts throughout this motherhood journey… It has been a fascinating and ‘happening’ first year (pity I didn’t really document all those, but I kind of didn’t have the luxury and time to too especially during the beginning) and I look forward to the upcoming moments with her. This is, indeed a very FUN stage to be at (but tiring as well) now that everything she does seems like SUPER CUTE!! 🙂
This little girl of mine is on total breastfeeding (fully latch on, she doesn’t take from bottle) still and I’d have to say I totally LOVE breastfeeding my angel (despite the downs of it). It is the best & most private intimate moment that belongs to just you (well, me) and baby. And I must say that is one main factor on how we have bonded to become so close (she is really clingy to me but I’m actually loving it – probably I have the mentality that now’s the only time she will be ever so sticky and dependent on me still, and when she’s all grown up, she’ll somehow leave me~ *sob).
So mommies, if you can, then please do so (anyway breast milk is supposed to be most nutritious for your baby), but even if you can’t (for whatever reasons), don’t get too upset about it because I believe you have tried your best and ultimately whatever you’re doing, you just want the best for your baby. 🙂
I have been very blessed (and I am really thankful) to have sufficient milk supply and manage not to give up despite the tiredness, inconvenience it brought about, and in times of the pain (-.-“). In fact, I love breastfeeding her so much (the emotional bond awarded from it) that I have extended my initial plan of breastfeeding for 1 year (if possible), and am still hesitant to break off the latching. I actually intend to nurse her still (probably in the night or wherever possible at home perhaps) if I am going to give her formula milk. We’ll see how it goes (but I can’t help but feel many people around me e.g. my hubby, my MIL, and my grandma are kind of ‘waiting’ for me to stop the nursing just so life gets ‘easier’ for me – I’ll touch on why later on, or probably not. *haha).
We (myself, my hubby and Venice, and of course, more directly, my mum) have been through (I must say) a lot ever since she popped but I shan’t go into those details anymore (I probably will at a later stage if I touch on a subject in relation).
We stay in my cosy and messy room at my parents’ place (aka my house) which explains the mention of my mum in the paragraph above, and our new flat is currently still in construction (but we believe we should be able to move in by end this year). And yes, I am excited to be able to have our own cove and do all the “dressing up” of our house. Ahh… OUR house. It’s got a different feeling to it, you know~ *haha. It’ll sure be fun (but nerve wrecking) and I foresee we (hubby and me) will have many disagreements (*haha) simply because our tastes kind of differ… And it’ll probably be a sudden lifestyle change for Venice simply because there are so many people at home now, but it’ll just be the 3 of us in our new home. I do believe she will not be used to it, but I hope she’ll get adjusted to it real soon. If I were her (I imagine lah, ok), I would really be upset if I suddenly don’t get to see and interact with Mak Mak, Chor Chor and 外公 (and of course, there is Gu Gu) whom she has been seeing every single day, now… Since now she really likes 热闹. But I guess (as they say – am referring to my hubby and my mum) really is no choice, she’ll just have to get used to it, and she will (hopefully, smoothly). 🙂
Well, I think that’s pretty much for my intro (first) entry… It’s quite lengthy and overloaded with details but that’s just the way I am (more long-winded especially in typing). (TOO BAD~) (Believe I shall be updating new entries soon!~ ^_^ Can’t wait… As of now, I’m trying to customise the site nicely. :))